Today, while washing my face, I noticed more (the last 2 days) of my falling hair from my head, this time I had several missing ball spots of hair and the many short hair particles on my forehead, the towel and the sink.
I thought for a moment OMG, I just wanted to cry and grieve the loss of something that contributed too what I believed was my beauty and personal identity. And that's exactly what I did, I cried and cried. After that cry, I went to Tim, my husband and asked him, "Would you hold me while I cry? I went on to say to him, " I know you don't understand my tears, but I need a human hug, I need to touch you, I need to be touched by someone who loves me." And he lovingly complied to my request, but not without saying (in an effort to comfort me), "Babe, why are you crying? The doctor's told you, your hair was going to come out." I said nothing in response, because those words had no meaning to me; I just received the love from the hug that I needed, and I was very thankful.
About 15 minutes later, I called my mom and requested the scarves and hats, that I was too tenderly wounded to accept the day before when she offered. I also received the super blessing of a shared feeling of hurt for the loss of hair, by way of prayer. In addition, the bonus blessing of my mom bringing scarves and hats to my home an hour later. There's more, my mom washed the dishes in my sink, sat down and watched Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and Oprah's Life Class on both on "The Conscious Parent" on television.
One of my life lessons/observation, God love is always there; sometimes His presence is very clear and obvious. There are other times, we have to put on our metaphoric reading glasses to see His Presence, like when your cross to carry is cancer.
Yes, God was in my house with me, and within me this morning. Thank you God; I see you! Thank you.