Good morning Holy Spirit, I am so thankful and grateful that You are with me leading, guiding and directing me. It gives me particular comfort knowing that Your Power protects me, Your Angel, that you have given me charge over is there waiting on my command, Your Favor is upon me continually and that Good and Mercy is right next to me walking parallel with my steps.  As the young people often say, “Don’t Get it Twisted” I know that I am the Apple of Your Eye and for all of these things and the countless more that I did not mention.  I know I am Blessed, Saved, Sanctified, The Righteous of God and Filled with Your Precious Holy Ghost.

I also know there are 3 parts to my ‘human beingness” which are: 1) my body 2) my Spirit 3) My Soul.  Within this season of my cancer and its symptoms, these 3 parts of me, and their very important roles (assignments) within me are becoming more specifically clear me.  Although we are live this life with the outside appearance one we are three.  I believe we can live our lives emotionally, spiritually and physically healthier, when we allow the Spirit-Self to be Our Leader.  However, I believe that’s an overgrowing-process that we embark upon with each of our both happy and sad “Life Experiences”.   

I can say today with all current honesty, that cancer (and its symptoms) and the high school graduation of my grandson last night, which triggered dangling in the wind, past hurts (several hours after the happy event) from my son’s high school graduation over 19 years ago has been the catalyst (it has allowed me to BE Still & Know…) for the TRUE receiving PERSONAL awareness of the very important 3 parts of me.  Although, my pastor has been feeding me this Spiritual Message for nearly 20 years, yes, it has taken a while, but now, I got it Pastor Byron! 

Bye the way the past hurts from my son’s graduation I referenced, although it seems really petty in my NOW healed and healthy current state of knowingness was “I” wanted to take my son out to dinner after his graduation, “I” wanted to spend time with him afterwards, “I” wanted share in the joy of this major life accomplishment for him, “I” had this happy idea of the evening, “I” wanted to take lots of pictures of us in his brand new suit, cap and gown. “I” even had a beautiful color-picture in my head of him tell me how wonderful and supportive I had been as a mother.  After graduating, while standing and waiting on him to come out, I was beaming with joy and excitement.  Well he came, and he told me of “His” plans; when I think back, my son was 19 years old, on the Varsity Football Team, had a spanking brand new car and a life with his friends – it shouldn’t have surprised me that he had other plan, which did not include me. In an effort to comfort me, and he stated graduation was no big deal, therefore he could not understand my disappointment. I kissed him, said goodbye and have a great time; that’s how I remember it, but knowing ME, I said a few other choice and hurtful words to him. But for some reason, I can’t remember my hurtful words. ☹  Afterwards, I went home; I was so hurt, I cried for countless hours and I wrote him a letter outline my feelings and gave it to him the next day.  In fact, I still have a copy of the letter filed in my “Important Stuff” folder; yeah I know… it was one of those life-altering experiences, clearly, can’t you see.  ☺  But God, today, in these moments, those past hurts related to this event are gone; I am now free to love greater without fear of disappointment and hurt.  I feel like an Eagle!   Thank you God.  Thank you Son.   Thank you Grandson.  Your 3 roles have been vital to me my Today’s Healing.  

A personal note to my son and my God:  

I didn’t know how to tell you prior to your graduation how to express the importance of celebrating that day with you.  I did not tell you about my dreams for you, with you, how important that sharing my love with you was, and that you were the apple of my life and that loving was like loving God, I wanted so unhealthy desperately to please you both.  And more importantly, that I was afraid of you both, because both You and God had the Power to take your love away from me, because I needed you both to live and breath happily. 

I was so afraid of loosing your loves that I made choices that I thought was shielding me from hurt. I did not know that my choices were placing on the front line to be emotionally shot repeatly.   NOW, I am at the right place and moment to receive al the LOVE you and God has for me.  So bring it on!  On a flip note, the Apple Tree you gifted me is doing great things for me spiritually! Again, thanks.